The Argument

[an imaginary dialogue with added emojis]

I’m sick of you! [vomiting in a bucket emoji]

Why’s that? [guilty question emoji]

I think you’re seeing someone else [couple having sex in the dark emoji]

How dare you accuse me of that!? [stamping foot emoji]

So…you deny it do you? [judge in wig emoji]

I certainly do! [two stamping feet emoji]

You look guilty to me [prisoner behind bars emoji]

That’s just you being paranoid again [stabbed by invisible knives emoji]

You come home late from work every night [oil burning at midnight emoji]

We’re always busy at this time of year [rushed off feet emoji]

Stinking of booze and perfume [beer and Chanel emoji]

That’s not true! [beer and Chanel crossed out emoji]

Leaving me to look after the kids all day [crying babies emoji]

Do you think I enjoy working late? [dark office block with one light burning emoji] Don’t you think I’d rather be at home with you and the children? [domestic bliss emoji]

I just don’t know. I feel like I don’t know you any more [puzzled detective emoji]

I’m sorry darling. It’s just so busy at the moment. Things will calm down after Christmas [relaxing with brandy and cigar emoji]

Hah! Christmas! And that’s another thing! What are we going to do about your family at Christmas!? [pigs with snouts in trough emoji]

Ah…come here darling [swelling heart emoji]. You’re all stressed out at the moment [exploding person emoji]. You’ll always be my special pet [dog/cat/budgie being stroked emoji]

Huh! [reluctantly acceding to blandishments emoji]

The End [smooching emoji]